Ximen Bao was an official of the State of Wei during the Warring States period. He was appointed magistrate of Ye county. Upon arriving, he inquired about the people’s hardships. Everyone said that the most difficult thing was to arrange wedding for the river god. Every year, the local elders, officials, and witch would choose a beautiful local girl to be the river god’s wife, and take the opportunity to levy taxes and extort money from the people, causing many families to flee. This situation had been going on for a long time, and people said, “If we don’t find a wife for the river god, he will flood and drown everyone.” Ximen Bao said, “Next time when the wedding takes place, please ask the elders, the witch, and all the villagers to come and see off the river god’s bride. I will also go.”
On the day of the river god’s wedding, Ximen Bao went to the riverbank, where the witch and her assistants, elders, officials, and many people had also gathered. Ximen Bao, seeing the girl chosen for the River God, said, “This girl isn’t pretty enough; let’s find a better one, it’s going to cause a couple of days’ delay. Please, witch, go and explain to the the River God and ask his permission.” He then had the witch thrown into the river.
Ximen Bao waited a while, then said, “Why has the witch taken so long? Send her assistant to hurry her up!” He threw one of her assistants into the river. After a while, he said, “Why has this assistant also taken so long? Send someone else to urge them!” He threw another assistant into the river. In total, he threw three assistants into the river. Ximen Bao then said, “The witch and her assistants are women; they can’t explain things clearly. Please, elders, go and explain the situation for me.” He then threw the three elders into the river. Ximen Bao then stood respectfully facing the river, waiting, for a long time. Finally he turned to the officials and said, “The witch and the three elders haven’t returned; what should we do?” These people were so frightened that they kept kowtowing on the ground, their heads bleeding. Ximen Bao said, “Alright, it seems the River God will keep his guests for a long time. You may all leave and go home.” “The officials and common people of Ye County were terrified and from then on dared not mention the matter of arranging a marriage for the river god again.
Ximen Bao then conscripted the people to dig twelve canals to divert river water to irrigate farmland, and all the fields were irrigated. To this day, Ye County still enjoys the benefits brought by Ximen Bao’s water management.”
From Records of the Grand Historian – Biographies of the Witty and Humorous
#7 西门治邺
西门豹是战国时期魏国的一个官员，他被派到一个叫邺的地方做县令。他到任后询问民间疾苦，大家都说，最苦的是给河神娶妻。当地的三老、官吏和巫婆每年都要挑选一个漂亮的女孩子做为河神的妻子，并趁机向老百姓征收赋税搜刮钱财，所以有很多户人家逃亡。这种情形已经很久了，人们都说，“如果不替河神娶妻，河神就要发大水，淹死所有人。” 西门豹说，“下次给河神娶妻那天，请三老、巫婆和父老乡亲都去给河神的新娘送行，我也去送亲。”
到了为河伯娶妻的日子，西门豹到了河边，巫婆、三老、官吏和很多老百姓也聚集在河边。西门豹看到要送给河神的女孩，说，“这个女孩不好看，我们再去找个好看的女孩。麻烦巫婆先去告诉河神。“ 说完就把巫婆丢进了河里。
西门豹等了一会儿，说：“巫婆为什么去这么久？叫她弟子去催催她！”又把她的一个弟子抛到河中。又过了一会儿，说：“这个弟子为什么也这么久？再派一个人去催催她们！”又抛一个弟子到河中。总共抛了三个弟子。西门豹说：“巫婆和弟子都是女人，不能把事情说清楚。请三老替我去说明情况。”又把三老抛到河中。西门豹一直恭恭敬敬面对着河站着等。过了好久，西门豹回头看着官员们说说：“巫婆、三老都不回来，怎么办？这些人都吓得在地上不停地叩头，把头都叩破了。西门豹说：“好吧，看样子河神留客要留很久，你们都散了吧，离开这儿回家去吧。”邺县的官吏和老百姓都非常惊恐，从此以后，不敢再提起为河神娶妻的事了。
西门豹接着就征发老百姓开挖了十二条渠道，把河水引来灌溉农田，田地都得到灌溉。至今邺县仍在享受西门豹治水带来的好处。
– 出自《史记·滑稽列传》