Yan Zi (578-500 BC) was a famous prime minister of the State of Qi during the Spring and Autumn Period, a renowned statesman, thinker, and diplomat in ancient China.
Yan Zi was on a diplomatic mission to the State of Chu. The king and ministers of Chu wanted to mock Yan Zi and show off Chu’s power. Knowing that Yan Zi was short, they made a small hole next to the main gate, asking him to enter the city through it.
Yan Zi walked to the hole, looked at it, and said, “This is a dog hole, not a city gate. Only those who go on missions to dog countries enter through dog holes. Today, I am on a mission to Chu, not to a dog country. Tell me, have I arrived in a dog country or in Chu?” The people of Chu had no reply and had no choice but to open the city gate and welcome Yan Zi in.
When Yan Zi met King Chu, the king chuckled and said, “What?! Does the State of Qi have no one left?”
Yan Zi knew the king was being sarcastic, so he calmly replied, “What are you saying! Our capital, Lin Zi, alone has seven or eight thousand households. If all the pedestrians on the street spread their sleeves, they could block out the sun; if they all shook their sweat, it could form a downpour. People are so crowded, shoulder to shoulder, toe to toe. Your Majesty, how can you say Qi has no one?”
King Chu said, “Since you have so many people, why send someone like you as an envoy?”
Yan Zi calmly replied, “Oh! You don’t know this. We in the State of Qi have a rule for sending envoys: if the recipient is a superior state, we send a capable and virtuous person; if the recipient is an inferior state, we send a mediocre person. I am the most incompetent person, that’s why I was sent here.”
Then, King Chu hosted a banquet for Yan Zi. As everyone was enjoying their drinks, two soldiers escorted a bound man past the banquet. The King of Chu deliberately asked, “Where is this bound man from? What crime has he committed?” The soldiers replied, “He is from the State of Qi, and he has committed theft.” The King of Chu looked at Yan Zi and said smugly, “Oh? Are the people of Qi born with a penchant for stealing?” Yan Zi rose from his seat and said, “I have heard that oranges grown south of the Huai River are large and sweet, but if planted north of the Huai River, they become small and sour trifoliate oranges. Their leaves look very similar, but the taste of the fruit is completely different. This is because the soil and water are different!” He then looked at the King of Chu and said, “Now this man didn’t steal in the State of Qi, but he learned to steal in the State of Chu. Could it be that the soil and water of Chu make the people like to steal?”
The King of Chu laughed and said, “A sage cannot be joked with; I have only made a fool of myself.”
From The Annals of Yan Zi
#4 晏子使楚
晏子（578-500BC）是春秋时期齐国名相，古代著名的政治家，思想家和外交官。
晏子出使到楚国去。楚国的君臣想耍笑一下晏子，显显楚国的威风。他们知道晏子是个矮个子，就在大门旁边开了一个小洞，让晏子从这个小洞进城去。
晏子走到小洞前边，看了看，说：“这是狗洞，不是城门。出使狗国的人，才从狗洞进。今天，我是出使楚国，不是出使狗国。请问我是来到了狗国呀，还是来到了楚国？”楚人无话可对，只好打开城门，迎接晏子进去。
晏子见到楚王，楚王笑嘻嘻地说：“怎么，齐国就没有人了吗？”
晏子知道楚王是在讽刺他，就不动声色地回答说：“您这是什么话！单是我们齐国首都临淄，就有七八千户人家。街上的行人要是都张开衣袖，就可以遮天蔽日；要是都甩一下汗水，就可以汇集成一场大雨，人挤得肩膀挨着肩膀，脚尖碰着脚跟。大王，您怎么说齐国没有人呢？”
楚王说：“既然有这么多人，为什么要派你这样的人来出使呢？”
晏子不慌不忙地回答：“噢！这您就不知道了。我们齐国派遣使臣有个规矩：要是对方是个上等国家，就派一个有本事、有德行的人去；要是对方是个下等的国家，就派一个碌碌无能的人去。因为我是最没出息的人，所以才把我派到你们楚国来。”
接着，楚王设宴招待晏子。大家正喝酒喝得高兴时，两个士兵押着一个被绑着的人从酒席前走过。 楚王故意问：“这个被绑着的人是哪里人？犯了什么罪？” 士兵回答：“是齐国人，犯了偷窃罪。” 楚王看着晏子，得意地说：“哦？难道齐国人天生就喜欢偷东西吗？” 晏子离开座位，站起来说：“我听说，橘子生长在淮河以南就是又大又甜的橘子，但要是把它种到淮河以北，就会变成又小又酸的枳。它们的叶子看起来很像，但果子的味道完全不同。这是因为水土不一样啊！” 他接着看着楚王说：“现在这个人在齐国的时候不偷东西，到了楚国却学会了偷东西，莫非是楚国的水土让老百姓喜欢偷窃吗？”
楚王只好笑着说，“圣人是不能同他开玩笑的，我反而自讨无趣了。”
– 出自《晏子春秋》