#42 Carrying a Cane to Beg Forgiveness

During the Warring States period, the State of Zhao had two renowned ministers: Lian Po and Lin Xiangru.

Lian Po was a brave and skilled general who had achieved many military victories. Lin Xiangru was originally just an ordinary official, but because he successfully brought the He Shi Bi back to Zhao intact (the ‘Return of the Jade Intact to Zhao’*) and cleverly upheld the King of Zhao’s dignity at the Conference of Mianchi (the Mianchi Meeting**), he was highly favoured by the King of Zhao, and his official rank even surpassed that of Lian Po.

Lian Po resented this deeply, saying, ‘I have risked my life and achieved so many victories for the State of Zhao, whilst Lin Xiangru is merely a smooth-tongued orator, yet he ranks above me. Moreover, Lin Xiangru comes from a lowly background; to be placed beneath him is a tremendous humiliation for me.’ Lian Po therefore declared publicly that should he encounter Lin Xiangru, he would certainly humiliate him severely.

Upon hearing this, Lin Xiangru would deliberately avoid Lian Po whenever he was about to cross paths with him. His colleagues all considered him to be overly timid.

Lin Xiangru replied, ‘Even with the might of the King of Qin, I dared to rebuke him in the great hall and humiliate his ministers. Although I am no hero, how could I possibly fear General Lian Po? I am merely mindful of the welfare of the State of Zhao; for the reason the mighty Qin dares not attack Zhao is because the two of us are here. When two tigers fight, one must be wounded. If I were to openly fall out with General Lian Po, Qin would certainly seize the opportunity to send troops to attack Zhao, and the State of Zhao would be in danger. The reason I avoid General Lian Po in this way is simply that matters of state are far more important than personal grievances.”

Upon learning of this, Lian Po immediately bared his back and, bearing a cane (used for flogging), went to Lin Xiangru’s door to apologise. Lian Po said, ‘I am truly a lowly man; I did not realise that the Chancellor was so magnanimous, and so I have come here to apologise.’ From then on, the two became sworn brothers.

This is the famous ‘Carrying a bundle of thorns to beg forgiveness’. It is now used to describe the act of taking the initiative to admit one’s mistakes, make amends, and sincerely seek the other party’s forgiveness.

Origin: “The Records of the Grand Historian: The Biographies of Lian Po and Lin Xiangru”

#42 负荆请罪

战国时期，赵国有两位著名的大臣：廉颇和蔺相如。

廉颇是一位勇敢善战的大将军，立下了很多战功。蔺相如原本只是一个普通官员，但因为成功把和氏璧安全带回赵国（完璧归赵*）和在渑池会上(渑池之会**）机智地维护了赵王的尊严，受到了赵王的重用，官职甚至超过了廉颇。

廉颇忿忿不平，说，“我出生入死，为赵国立下那么多功劳，蔺相如则只是伶牙俐齿，居然位居于我之上。而且蔺相如出身卑贱，要我位居其下，对我而言实在是极大羞辱。”于是廉颇便对外宣称，如果他看到蔺相如，必定对其大加羞辱。

蔺相如听说后，每次快要遇见廉颇时，都会主动避开。同僚们都认为他太胆小了。

蔺相如说：“即使以秦王的威风，我也敢在大殿上对其叱喝，并羞辱秦国群臣。我虽然不是什么勇者，但怎么可能怕廉将军？我只是顾念赵国社稷，因为强秦之所以不敢攻打赵国，是因为有我们两个人在。两虎相斗，必有一伤。如果我公然跟廉将军闹翻，秦国必定趁机出兵攻赵，赵国就危险了。我之所以如此躲避廉将军，实在是因为国家大事远较个人恩怨为重。”

廉颇在得知此事后，立刻袒露背部，背负荆杖到蔺相如门前谢罪。廉颇说道：“我实在是鄙贱的人，竟然不知丞相如此宽宏大量，因而来此谢罪。” 两人从此成为生死之交。

这便是著名的“负荆请罪”。“负荆请罪”现在用来形容主动向人认错、赔罪，真心诚意地请求对方的原谅。

出自《史记 廉颇蔺相如列传》